I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize