P.S. I can't hear my feet
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
