I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
