She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
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Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
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