No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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