Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
