State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
