You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize
