lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
you didnt know i had herpes?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
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I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize