my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
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