is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
