I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
