I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
