dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
