White coat. Heels.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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