Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
even my farts smell like vagina
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
