So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
