Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
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Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
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Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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