if i can run in heels then i can drive
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.