you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
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It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
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Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.