Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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