Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
