I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
