can u get pink eye on your cock?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
He did a backflip because drugs
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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