I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
