Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Randomize
