The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize