I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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