just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
