Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
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