just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
