After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
