according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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