Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
