Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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