I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
