Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize