I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Randomize