Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
