So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
