it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize