well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
