yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
