Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
did you just send me my own nude
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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