i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
