Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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