Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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