I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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