Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
