That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
