I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
