About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
