i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
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