I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Mom said you looked used
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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