I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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