i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
