So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
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