I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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