I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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