Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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