i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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