be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Randomize
