Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
