Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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