I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
